#freewriting - Poop on my lawn!

wakeupkitty

I decided to watch my neighbor all the time. Dog poop on the lawn means that I need to teach him a lesson.
It is not the first time I noticed it in my front garden so I decided to wait and watch. Sooner or later I would find out who was the one doing this to me. The neighbors dog or...

I didn't need to wait too long... it was clear who did it. So time to teach a lesson. The same lesson every dog is teached who shits where it is not allowed.
I jumped out of the bushes and pushed the dirty butt forward, nose first, into the poop.

"That will teach you not to leave your shit on my lawn", I shouted "if I ever see you here again you will regret it!"

He ran out of me as quickly as he could. I felt satisfied about my 1-st step to teach the neighbor a lesson. I knew it wouldn't be enough. It takes time to raise in a proper way and a bad habit isn't over after just one kick in the ass.

Congratulations for ranking in the top 20. Your reward is..., what should I write next?
I knew my neighbor wasn't only a dirty devil but also addicted to all kind of contests, games, the lottery and who knows what else.

I frequently heard him brag about his high IQ and all the prices he won. Hard to believe if you heard him starting one of his endless 'speeches'. Only a real dummy would buy his shit.
He isn't even intelligent enough to notice people avoid him as soon as he shows up. Only his dog stays close, but that's mainly because it hopes for some food.
Of course his overwhelming smell was a good reason to do so too as well.

I decided to leave the letter for what it was, just the big surprise box would do the trick too. I only doubted if he would brag about it as well. I left the box at his front door and went home. Sooner or later he would find it.
I had more things to do. Watching over my lawn for example. One thing was sure: today I did not clean up the last heap of poop on my lawn.

The trumpet was loud and it sounded exactly as planned.
As soon as the lawn would be entered it would go off and the sprinklers started as well. I figured out a trumpet and cold shower would help to wake up the perpetrator.

I can tell you it did. As the trumpet started I ran outside, - wearing my boots and raincoat - and immediately saw the immense heap of poop! This time it did not only bother me. It was partly on the head of one of my gnomes and although the dirty bastard tried to get away he stepped into it, lost balance and... fall forward into it.

"Next time I make you eat it", I said to my neighbor, "plus you will lick my whole lawn clean with your tongue!
For now I have a little surprise for you".

He ran for his life as I said the word and my fellows showed up.
Stupid thing to do, the running I mean. Never run if you are surrounded by a pack of wolves.

This picture is a pixabay.com pic

For years neighbors let their dogs out on my lawn.
It seems to be a habit of dog owners. If you dare to mention it to them you are the asocial one.
Now I even have a neighbor from Belgium who shits in the garden of his neighbors himself.

This is my entry at the #weekendfreewrite. If you like to join see @mariannewest or for the prompt of the first #5minutes-freewrite HERE.

Posted using Partiko Android

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